Hugging is an essential form of non-verbal communication. If we observe young children, they express all the emotions through hugs: When they feel happy to see you, when they feel sad or when they feel fear. Through hugging, children learn to regulate their emotions. That is why when a child feels upset, after hugging you, it calms down. In this way it learns how to calm itself when it grows older. This way of connecting with others without words and letting ourselves feel our feelings (from the prelinguistic stage) is the most basic and we can use it all our lives.
Hugs decrease anxiety, stress and pain (as well as emotional and physical).
Through the hugs we express protection and provide security, which is very important especially for young children. Through hugs we show value to the person that we hug, we give recognition that this person is someone important to us.
By hugging someone for at least 20 seconds, the hormone Oxytocin begins to release in the body, which relaxes us and reduces anxiety. It also lowers blood pressure and lowers stress hormones.
That is why it is highly recommended to give your loved ones a long hug. Children are wise and use them so much to connect with their feelings. Why as adults we stop using this very beneficial way of communication?
During the therapeutic work I use the pillows so the client can express his feelings and can “hug” the important person. In group therapy, the hugs are a great benefit for the participants.
So, start consciously to use hugs until your body begins to remember this basic and wonderful need and starts to be more spontaneous in the way of expression and connection.
Almost a year since the pandemic began and we cannot hug all the people important for us. But there is always someone to hug: Hug the people who live with you, your dog, your cat, your teddy bear, your pillow and hug yourself.
Anita Chukaleska
Psychologist, Gestalt Psychotherapist